A Snarky Post About Real Estate

Okay, so, its been a while since I've written anything about the local Real Estate scene.
All the Realtors in town are missing me super bad sooooooo.....

Here is a screen shot from Craig's List Real Estate Section for all the houses for sale in
Alameda.

I know, not super readable but the point is check out how many listings there are.
Know how many listings are for actual houses for sale in Alameda?
Out of 30 listings only five of those CList ads appear to be for actual houses
for sale with the ad being put up by the listing Realtor.
Putting on my math hat for a minute, that means that only 16% of the listings are real...

The rest is just garbage.
Garbage like this.

Honestly, is someone going to look at this ad with the incorrect English and be like,
'Ya, he's definitely the guy for me??'  Maybe he's a great Realtor, I don't know. But
I would definitely not choose this person based solely on this add...

Which BTW, Isn't the Real Estate for sale section on Clist just supposed to be about
Real Estate for sale? Not people pimping themselves? Didn't they get rid of the section?

The vast majority of the noise looks like this.

$635000 Great deal in Alameda, Come to the East End (alameda)

0BR apartment

Three ways to access this listing :
#1 - Cut & Paste this search URL into your browser: http://po.st/5NfspH
#2 - Reply to this ad and we will send you the email link and Information about the house for sale
#3 -- The old fashioned way. . ...Call or text us at 925-286-7112 and let us know how we can
assist you with your property search.

Simon Watson- Keller Williams Realty
Realtor Bre 01881304
925-286-7112........ 510-859-4773
Market Update: November 26th,
NOV 26th Closed a Cal Vet Loan Today in 20 days.
NOV 5th. .We just got out latest VA Client into contract, we beat 6 other offers
including an ALL Cash Deal, Closing Dec 5th
Our Team Has Sold Over 31 Homes In The Last Twelve Months. Call
Us Today If You Are Considering Buying or Selling a home.
 

I love the fact that the links aren't even real.
Cut and paste...really?
Annnnd who clicks on links anymore that look like that?
Sure, I'll click on the hidden link, I'm sure it won't go to a virus-malware filled
pornsite.....

I bet I'm not the only person who is annoyed by this nonsense.
Maybe the realty company hired some company in India to 'aggressively'
market them.....I don't know...

Readers, Alameda house searchers....does this nonsense turn you off as much as it does me?
Honestly, if CList doesn't get on the stick and do something about it I bet all the legitimate ads
are going elsewhere....

Sorry CList you know I love you (a bit too much) but this is just ridiculous.

Alameda Realtors, Getting Desperate?

I swear, I think every other day I get an unsolicited piece of snail mail from some Alameda based Realtor.
The emails all say the same thing,

'Now is the bestest time EVER to sell your house!!!!'
or
'All houses in Alameda are getting multiple offers and going for WAY over asking.'

Some even come with charts and graphs! To prove their point.

I don't have access to official MLS stats but it seems like there's what, 3 houses on the market right now in Alameda?

Last time I checked G&L had what ~30 Realtors and Harbor Bay about the same?

Wonder how long its going to be before they start shivving each other for listings?

Glad I'm not a Realtor...though honestly, that herd needed to be thinned a looooong time ago.

Realtors, WTF Is Up With This Practice?

You know that because I am a Real Estate gadfly that I'm always looking on Craig's List for interesting houses for sale in Alameda. Something that I've noticed with the listings recently seems really uh, odd to me.

The vast majority of listings on Craig's List for houses for sale in Alameda are posted by a Realtor who is not the listing Realtor??? Now everybody who reads this blog knows that I don't have the highest regard for the integrity of the average Realtor....ahem....but this, to me, seems pretty reptile realtor-ish.

Here's a screen shot of today's listings for Alameda CA.

Just about all the purple listings are from the same realty company listing other agents houses....
I'd guesstimate that 60-70% of the listings are like this?

If you click on one of the links you get this.

This is for the most expensive house for sale in Alameda....no price mentioned...AND they misspelled luxuriant.....just the kind of impression you want to make with folks who can actually afford to buy a $1.8M house....

Clicking on the link in the CL add takes you here.

Which has a bunch of properties listed and really, you're not sure which one they are talking about in the add are you? Because I know the house I know its the top house for sale.

Click on that link and you get this.

Wow, lots of pics, and data and stuff that looks like its all taken from other sites.
Except that when you look at it there is no link to the official website for the house or a link to the selling Realtors web page about the house??? You have to look REALLY hard to even determine who the listing Realtor is. I'm sorry but the screen capture isn't super readable...

Sneaky or No?
To me, this looks like one Realtor trying to pass off another Realtors listing as their own?
This just seems really, really well, reptile-ish to me.
I actually spoke with the listing Realtor for the house in this example and she was NOT happy about this, especially with the incorrect English...

So, Realtor's WTF is up with this practice? Is it a legitimate uh, sales technique or what?

For me, as a potential house buyer scanning the adds this practice is a HUGE PITA. You have to weed through a bunch of crap and half information just to figure out if you're even interested in the house.
To me personally, I'm super annoyed about this practice and would never use a Realty company that practiced it.
Potential buyers, how about you?

Attention Realtors! Have you read Burbed Lately?

Okay folks, I know that there is A LOT of hate on against me and my little blog here by the Realtor Community in Alameda... They sometimes act like I'm Satan himself with my honest reviews of houses for sale...

Well guess what? I'm not the only person reviewing houses for sale!

Realtors, have any of you ever heard of a very popular blog called Burbed?

http://www.burbed.com/ 

Take a minute or five and read through that blog. Its based in Silicon Valley so don't worry...

Couple of things I want you to notice.. Besides the main editor reviewing houses he's got an army of followers reviewing houses in Silicon Valley. They tour open houses, take pictures and post about what they saw and what their impressions are of the houses. That's tens of people all doing what I do and being a lot harsher about it...they do call all Realtors realatards....I do like the google earth views of the houses for sale that show them right next to a freeway or toxic waste dump or what not...

Realtors, think about how lucky you have it here in Alameda...just one lone nut job reviewing houses for sale... Next time your cursing my name I want you to think this, 'At least we're not in Burbed territory.'

Wanted Independent House Reviewers

Well I guess I have to face facts. Even though I believe that independently reviewing houses for sale in Alameda is a valuable community service I've just been too busy lately to do it and I've missed several good opportunities to do it....

I'm sending out an open call for guest reviewers.

Tour houses you think are interesting, try to take some pics of what you think needs being shown. Try to get a pic of the front of the house at least.

Do a little write-up and send it all to me in an email (my email address is on my profile page) and I will post it to the blog as a guest review.

You can remain anonymous to the world but you can not be anonymous from me. I will need to figure out some sort of vetting process to weed out the people who are not honestly reviewing houses.

So, c'mon and join the fun!!!

Had an Odd Conversation With A Realtor Today....

Maybe I should subtitle this post as...

The Great Satan of House Reviews is Back!!!! Muuu-Ha-ha-ha!!!!

Man, did I have the oddest conversation with a Realtor today....I'm still puzzled by it...

Cause honestly, I can't tell if the Realtor was just clueless or if they where very cleverly F'ing with me...

I'll tell the story and let you guys decide.

I went and looked at 1330 Clinton today.  When I was looking through the binder of inspections (good for them) the Realtor was chatting with me off and on as she was greeting people coming in the front door.

I told her that I lived around the corner on Sherman and then she got. I thought, sorta strangely interested in WHICH SPECIFIC HOUSE I lived in.

   I said something like,  'the big ugly white one with the ugly fence.'

   She said, 'The one where all the work is going on?'

  I said, 'No, I'm not that crazy.'

  And then she kinda launched into this odd diatribe.

  'That's the house where the guy lives who writes all those horrible things on his BLOG about houses for sale in Alameda.' She said blog like it was drenched in sewage.

  So now I stop trying to make sense of the roofing estimate and look at her...and say, 'There's somebody who reviews houses? And you think that's a bad thing?' Honestly, I'm looking at her and I can't tell if she's messing with me...

  'Yes, he says horrible, personal things about people.'

  'Does he say untrue things about the houses?'

  'Yes, its all untrue...I don't know why he feels like he needs to write such nasty things about people...but I guess some people just feel the need...you know...'

   'Hmmm....'

   'And that's why no realtor will touch his house.'

   'How do you mean?'

   'No Realtor wants to show his house because of all the horrible things he says on his BLOG.'

Then she went off to talk to someone else and I finished reading the reports and left. She left me with the distinct impression that she thinks that I am some sort of mental defective with a strong nasty streak. Like I should have horns on my head and a tale....

I just can't tell if she was screwing with me or not? If she was screwing with me its a super clever way to do it. Right in front of a crowd of people she basically called me an F'ing A-hole and told me to stop writing reviews in such a way that I couldn't really respond in kind.

First off, it really seems like she's never read any of my house reviews. And that stuff about no Realtor will touch his house...she doesn't know that Chez 2.0 is already sold? Weeks ago? She seems to think that I live in the big white house with the columns (I wish, I could afford that place...its like a palace that sold for $1.1M and the new owners immediately launched into a multi-hundred thousand redo) and that I'm trying to sell it?

It really seems like this particular Realtor got all her info about me from some bizarre game of telephone that went on too long and where all the different messages have been intermixed and reshuffled.  Like all the folks who where pissed off about the 'pink feather ladies' at the 4th of July parade who didn't actually see them!!!

I haven't reread every single review I've written but honestly where does that 'I write horrible nasty personal things about the home owners' come from???

Ruminations On Realtors

This odd exchange got me to thinking about all the other exchanges I've had with Realtors since I've been doing my reviews. There seem to be several common threads to what Realtors think of me.

They just can't seem to understand why in the world I would feel the need to do this.

I mean really, trying to comprehend my motivations seems to cause a lot of mental gears to be stripped. This is going to sound ridiculous I know but...Like I'm completely challenging their world view and their place in it.

Demonization is easier than self introspection.

Most Realtors refuse to admit that there is even a spec of truth in what I write. They prefer to think of me as some 'nasty little man' who has some sort of evil 'hidden agenda' who is quite possibly 'mentally deficient and or unstable.' One of my favorites was the Realtor who asked me why I hated Alameda so much?? Basically, what ever they can do in their minds to be able to discount everything I say. Such as believing that all I do is write nasty personal things about people.

So, here goes, another attempt to explain why I do this.

Why I Review Houses

It's pretty much as simple at this.

I believe that the deck is so completely stacked against house buyers (especially 1st time buyers) that there is hardly any chance that they won't get screwed.

The buyers and sellers agents get paid based on how much the house sells for. C'mon folks do you really think that that simple truth doesn't effect the actions of both agents? That they are not, at least, subconsciously motivated to get the house sold as quickly as possible for as much money as possible? I'm not saying that all Realtors are crooked....just most of them.  

Then you say, 'The buyer has inspectors.' Please...the inspectors are almost always referred by the Realtors. The inspectors know that if they don't 'play the game' they won't get referrals from Realtors and will essentially be out of a job. I'm not saying that there are not good inspectors out there..they just won't be the one the Realtors refer you to and they will cost about twice what the hacks charge.

This situation is not alright to me. I just can't seem to ignore this basically institutionalized theft.

Does it make sense to anyone that there are not independent reviews of houses for sale?

Its the most expensive purchase just about everyone makes..yet there are no independent sources of info.

You want to buy a new car, you read Road and Track reviews or Consumer Reports.

You want to buy a new motorcycle, you read the reviews of the different models in magazines like CycleWorld.

You want to buy a new flat screen TV, you read the reviews at CNET or Consumer Reports and hell, the reviews on Amazon.

Looking for a new Restaurant to try? You check the Yelp reviews.

Hell, just about any kind of service business you can check reviews on Yelp.

Yet nothing like that exists for houses? Why is that exactly?

In this modern world where you can get reviews of anything on the internets, why no reviews of houses??

Why Not?
As one commentor here said, 'Looking at open houses on Sundays is Alamedas Fav pastime.'
It really seems to be a hobby of peoples to looky-loo open houses and then make snarky comments to each other about it. Am I evil cause I choose to share my thoughts?

Honestly, am I not doing what any intelligent potential house buyer would do? Am I evil cause I choose to share a process that other people are most likely already doing? And if they are not already looking at houses the way I do and I save them some grief is that a bad thing?

So Much Real Estate Info Is Online

I can go on Zillow, Movoto, Redfin and see when and how much a house was sold for..what all the price changes are for a house that is still on the market, what the legal definition of the house is, what other similar houses sold for in the same area. Movoto even tells you who the legal owner of the house is. I can go to the cities website and print out the permit history of any house I'm interested in.

Now I know that the average age for Alameda Realtors is like 102 so maybe they are not as Internet savvy as your average person.

Hey Alameda Realtors, you probably don't need to worry about this interwebs thing...I'm sure its just a passing fad. I bet lickety-split that people will be back to relying solely on you for all their information on the house they are interested in and the local housing market....

So, in a first I am dedicating this post to D of Bayside Real Estate....for either being super clever or super clueless.

Realtor Schenanigans Part 4.

This was also written a while ago but I was persuaded not to publish until we closed on Chez 2.0

Good Lord, is this going to be a never ending series?

This next Realtor Story is something that I just think is weird-lame.

I don't think I know of a single Alameda-based Realtor that showed Chez 2.0 to a single client??? Wait, I can think of two off the top of my head....

Okay but here's the weird part.

I know that for sure there were at least 8 potential buyers who wanted to tour Chez 2.0 and their Realtor couldn't be bothered to show it to them!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

They either had their clients contact my Realtor for a showing directly, or they called him up to arrange for him to show it to their clients??

Seriously, WTF is up with that???

Is that not their job? What's the good reason these people could not show the house to their clients?

I know Chez 2.0 was a unique case where it wasn't going to appeal to a ton of people. In fact, I'd say that these 8 Alameda-based buyers with Alameda-based Realtors who were interested in the house enough to want to schedule a special tour were probably the majority of that pool....

So I ask again, what's the good reason for the Realtors to not do their job? Laziness? Animosity towards me? It's not like Chez 2.0 was very far for any Alameda-based Realtor to go???

Way to go Realtors, earn your pay!

I learned another thing about the business.
In past reviews, I've often said how annoying it is when you go tour an open house and the Realtor showing the house is not the selling Realtor and they don't seem to know a damn single useful thing about the house?  I was always like, what's the friggen point of you taking up space then???

Well, I recently had a Realtor set me straight about why that happens. According to this source, doing open houses is the #1 way for Realtors to get new clients. That sorta makes sense from my experience. Usually when I'm trying to ask the showing Realtor a question they interrupt me half way through to press me about whether or not I have my own Realtor. When I tell them I already do I can see them slump and then they start to act like I'm wasting their time!!!

So, I get why a Realtor would want to show a house which is not their listing. Now I also get why they usually don't know a damn thing about the house, they don't care. They are not there to help sell the house they are there to primarily get new clients. Okay I get that.

Here's what I don't get: The listing agent knows that too!! Why in the hell would they ever, let anyone else show the house?

Seriously, I don't understand this....

Realtor Schenanigans Part 3

This post was originally written on 4-13-11 but I've delayed publishing it until today as I was convinced that I should do nothing to further piss off the Alameda Realtors. I think that I've vagued it up enough..


The title of this post probably should have been...

Third Open House Not Such A Success

What I'm about to relate to you, dear readers, has me sooooo pissed off that I just want to, I don't know what....and the fact that it happened in my house during my open house really makes is personal.

The Story

My Realtor had a personal emergency and couldn't make it to our third open house...so he asked around the offices at blah-blah Realty and got a very eager volunteer to do the open for him...when he told me who the volunteer was I had instant misgivings as I personally do not have a very positive view of this Realtor's character....

Apparently the open went okay with ~25 groups of people attending down from the 35 we've had at previous open houses.

Now, I know that my neighbors have been thinking about buying our house..which we were really excited about as we think that they would be good owners of Chez 2.0. They'd been to every open house and had been working with my Realtor. He'd shown it to them several times and their brother and their father. Point here is that he'd already been working with them for a while.

On that day they went to the open expecting to see our Realtor there and to talk to him about making an offer on our house....instead....that dirtbag Realtor, who was doing my realtor a 'favor', convinced them to drop him and use the dirtbag as shim could 'get them a better deal' or that 'my realtor would screw them over'.  Now I happened to see these neighbors a couple days later in front of Blah Blah Realty as they were waiting to write an offer on my house!!! I chatted a bit with them and that is when I learned what had happened.... Now, I don't blame them, they are first time home buyers and this is their first time EVER making an offer on a house...I know what that's like, they were totally freaked! Up was down, down was up, and they were just terrified....and this dirtbag Realtor took advantage of them while they were in that state and that really pisses me off...as these are nice folks.

Annd shim did them no favors, we know these people, we would love to have them own our house and the process didn't need to be adversarial... we all could have sat down and figured out a price we all could have lived with...helped by the fact that with my Realtor working both ends of the deal I was getting a break in commission which I was hoping to pass on to them in the form of a lower price....now, all that's out the window...

Our History With The Dirtbag

A couple years ago when our Realtor was going through some health issues, this dirtbag Realtor tried to steal us away by telling us: ' Your Realtor is having some health issues and can't give the job his all. You should really go with me as I can give you my all'...not an exact quote but it was something to that effect.

But Wait, There's More

At the same open house he tried to steal another Realtor's clients away!!! I'm told that when this second Realtor found out this Realtor gave shim a good dressing down in front of the entire office.

So, for those of you keeping score, this same Realtor tried to steal us away from our current Realtor in the past, managed to steal away one of our Realtor's current clients and tried unsuccessfully to steal another Realtor's clients during our open house...

Is this Realtor not indicative of everything wrong with this business???

I talked to the boss

I was so pissed off that I called shim's boss and we had a nice long chat where I outlined everything above.

I don't know if anything useful will come of this but I seriously hope they do something about this.


Update
Nothing to update, 'the boss' never got back to me, which he said he'd do. So I've never learned if the dirtbag was disciplined or what...it's been three months since our phone conversation and the only thing he did was ask my Realtor to ask me to not run this piece...


I think the dirtbag is still working there.
Here's the crazy thing...this Realtor has a rep. Talking to other Realtors at other agencies' they knew of DB and knew to steer clear of shim. What I heard most was, 'DB'll try to screw you any way s-he can.' I even talked to several of DB's fellow employees and wow, is this person bad for morale.

In sales, you would never keep a salesperson around who has a rep as a dirtbag and who has tried to, or actually has, stolen their fellow employees clients. Geez, in my former line of work someone like that would have been shit-canned so fast and rode outta the office on a rail.

Ugh...

Realtor Schenanigans part 2

Oy, my head....look at this stuff I have to deal with ...

Usually I would just delete comments like these from my blog as they serve no legitimate purpose and trying to argue with a crazy person just makes you crazy...so, instead I decided to do an entire post about em!!

OK Here's a comment we got on the blog earlier this week from someone calling themselves pacificalameda.

$650k is jumbo loan. 203k requires 0.9% mortgage insurance, so total > 7% interest rate !? If FHA requires 45 % ratio, will need > $11k monthly income, how many buyers hv that high income nowadays? Wait for 6 months before moving in? Any assurance the "tough" Alameda city will final in 6 months? What if it goes over budget? According to the other houses posted on this blog, seem to cost > $300k in remodeling of so many baths, bedrooms, kitchens etc. $165k doesnt seem to do a good job for the house in this condition, unless using apartment quality cheap linelium. Why other people's houses, according to your opinon, cost so much to remodel but yours doesn't? according to your blog, one kitchen cost $50k. why suddenly estimate on your house so low? the contractor's bid may not be realistic? Radiant heat is very expensive, people said cost >$600/month. What if it breaks, and leaks water in the future? how much for maintenance/repair? A huge & scary project. maybe that's why according to your blog, 3 open houses only 1 offer? what kind of person would make an offer to buy with so much work? someone who is a contractor ?? Sorry dont want to sound offensive, just things $ numbers not adding up right.

I don't even know how to respond to this, It's just nonsense...All the FHA stuff and especially that $600/month to heat the house??? That's all gotta be pulled outta his you-know-what...What can I say about the remodeling cost? We have two legitimate bids from two contractors for a simple finish of the house as a duplex and both numbers where under $150k-including a new roof.

Then my Realtor got an email from a 'Brian' with a lame yahoo email address.

saw your listing, read the very very long blogs, and has some questions: 1. total 2,800 sq. ft. 3 storeys, so each floor only 900 sq. ft.? or is the main floor bigger than the basement or attic? 2. a little confused on the asking price : $650k, including $165k in remodeling of any materials the buyer's choice? does that include all the permit fees and artichtect's drawings? not sure how up to date the old plans are bc this year many new building codes came into effect & Alameda city has the highest permit fee in the bay area. it may cost > $10k for all the architectural & permit cost. 3. what if buyers pick materials that the contractor cannot do within $165k, will the Seller susidize? 2,800 sq.ft. house for $165k seems very cheap, according to the blog commented on other houses, one kitchen average cost $50k to remodel, and one fixer-upper cost $500k to remodel. So not sure if the contractor can do with good quality materials with the house in such a bad shape that has no walls. 3. it says finish work 6 months from COE, does that mean the buyers pay 6 months of mortgage, or the seller pays before possession of house? $650k 203k loan, we are looking at about $6k mortgage, tax & insurance per month, adding 6 months of mortgage, and $10k fees, so total $"696k purchase price", sort of pricey at this market, esp. many unknowns. 4. what if the contractor stops work due to financial disputes or other reason, cannot finish the job in 6 months? Alameda city planning & building depts. are not easy to get approval/finalize. ** Can the escrow close in 8 months (until all work done) before closing since the Seller asks for $650k to buy. I.e. the Seller warrants that the house will be completely done satisfactorily in 6 months with no delay? 5. what is the incentive for buyers to wait for 6 months before moving in, with a high purchase price of $696k? is the seller's price $485k negotiable, since it doesn't seem to be justified with all these risks & unknowns? e.g. If the project goes over time, it's $6k per month! that's why most fixer-uppers are priced low accordingly, But this house does not seem to be taking into consideration of all buyer's work & risks. thank you!

Brian

I think this one as its full of just stupid assertions that you could only have if you where cherry picking individual sentances out of a blog post and not reading it as a whole... notice the exact same reference to my blog and reasoning.

Now read this from a Realtor who has been sending us these bizarre emails intended to do what? Harangue us into dropping the price ridiculously low???

That is reasonable given the circumstances. Having managed many projects in Alameda, that include the after close process of a 203k it is not as simple as you state including pick anything you want. New plans need to be drawn, the entire building will need to be brought up to code, the hud inspector is going to walk the house and have their own list of mandatory items that need to be repaired not including the cosmetics of a build out. One of the items is going to be window replacement and/or paint scraping and lead abatement which was just passes last year and is an added cost. One of my most recent projects was 2143 Alameda Ave which was posted on your blog. You know the rehab cost of that home and it was in much better shape that 1310 Pacific. Given the carrying cost of two mortgages and property taxes my estimate is that you are looking at 14,000 if you wait 4 months. There is also the fact that the buyer you are looking for for a FHA jumbo loan of 620,000 at 5.5% needs to have an income of 13000 to qualify for the loan and anyone with that income is not buying that house. Mull it around. I know the offer is not what you want to hear or see but if you were my client purchasing and you knew what the cost and time is going to be involved for a buyer after the COE it would be easy to see how obscured the numbers you are quoting and ease of of a full renovation are with federal guidelines is.

Now this one is from a Realtor who claims to know all about FHA stuff yet doesn't know that in the SFBay area FHA loans go to uh, $729k as conforming jumbo loans and its not till you go above that number that you get into the real jumbo loan territory. Again with the plans...guess he didn't read that I have the complete digital model of the house and have a set of simple redo plans already done for the house. I love his carrying costs number.... He does imply that he was the buyers realtor for 2143 Alameda Ave....this is the property where the seller was trying to sue based on my review...she claims that my review cost her $15K in selling the house....

Edit 4-14
Okay somethings been bugging me about the above email for a while and I just now put my finger on it. He does seem to be implying that he was the buyers Realtor at 2143 Alameda Ave and that it was bought with a 203k remodel loan right??? Except that the loan limit for single family houses in Alameda County is $729k and the house was purchased for $755k acording to public records???? How is that even possible? Methinks I smell a steaming pile of B.S....

Here's what the Realtor Doesn't Get About Chez Neumansky 2.0
The foundation's already been done!! Unlike 2143 Alameda Ave. That will save you $130k right there.
The electrical is already upgraded with sub panels on each floor. (unlike 2143 Alameda Ave) All you have to do is run branch circuits-which one electrician noted would take him maybe two days per floor.

Having no drywall in the way is actually a good thing. Now when he says there's no walls, what he means is that there is no drywall.  That's a plus in this situation as its super fast and easy to run your utilities inside the walls and then have them drywalled up. Usually in a situation like this you'd end up pulling most of the drywall down to run your utilities and to insulate.

You know really, author seems to of taken a play book from those nut job right wing radio guys...where they take things out of context and then blow stuff all out of proportion laced with a bunch of half truths??

Seriously now...does it not seem that all of these emails are from the same person? It really does to me...Using the exact same incorrect information with the same arguments and phrasing. What's the chance 3 people came up with all this VERY similar nonsense independently? Yes, I know that you are going to say that a bunch of people probably came up with 2+2=4 independently but c'mon three people getting things exactly wrong in the exact same way? What I especially like about the last one is that it was sent directly to me...that's something Realtors are always supposed to do right? bypass the selling Realtor and try to strike a deal with the home owner??

So, what this looks like is a Realtor who has clients who want to buy our house for a ridiculously low price has created not one but two alias' to try to convince us that the house is worth what his clients want to pay for it???

Really, Seriously now....is it just me being paranoid or does it all sound like it came from the same person??

Next Up Realtor Schenanigans Part 3....it gets really reptilian now....

Realtors Are.....

Sometimes People Of Questionable Moral Standards...

Not all of them but enough of them.

Let me tell you a little story.

I've been putting up some for sale ads on Craig's List over the last month.
The idea was to test the market and see what the interest was like before the house went on the market. We wanted to fine tune the marketing with the feedback from the responses we got.

I've been putting up two ads aimed at different target markets. One ad was for multi-generational house holds and one was aimed at the young couple who wants to raise their kid in a nice city, in a good school district but who can't afford to buy a finished house. The first week the ads were up the entire week and we got A LOT of responses and several promising families toured the house.

For Sale Ads on Craig's List Getting Flagged And Removed.
The next week when I reposted the ads they were flagged and removed within a couple of days. I'm thinking, 'huh? that's weird they are completely legit for sale ads why would people in the Craig's List community be flagging them??' So I went thru all the FAQ's and had friends look at them and nope, nobody could come up with a real reason to have the posts flagged and removed...

I reposted the ads again and within minutes they were flagged and removed!?!?!? So, I reposted them and again within a short period of time they were flagged and removed!?!?!

Then I posted them again, and hey, they were not flagged and removed? Hurray I thought, but something was off. We track the click-throughs from the post to the blog (which by industry standards have been really, really good) and we were not getting any click-throughs?

I thought, 'Damn, after only a couple of weeks we had depleted our potential buyers pool and nobody cared!' Well, not exactly, it turns out that if your posts get flagged constantly on Craig's List you get marked as a spammer. When you do a post it looks like its posting but nope, its actually invisible!!!

I had to prove to Craigs list that yes, in fact my posts are legit and nope, they are not being flagged for legitimate reasons.

Why I Think My Posts Were Being Flagged
Now, I can't prove this exactly but, I bet if someone where to track the IP addresses of the computers (and btw you bet clist has this ability) who are flagging my posts that they would track back to a small number of computers associated with at least one Alameda based realty company.....Hmmmm, who could that be? Which Alameda based reality company has the biggest hate on for me????

So, what I think is happening is that a small group of Alameda Realtors are removing my ads out of personal animosity towards me, how mature...

Please readers, how does that not confirm just about everything negative I've ever said about the character of your average Realtor???

A Special Note To The Flaggers
I'm pretty sure that what you are doing is illegal. You are a commercial entity trying to directly interfere with another commercial entities (G&L Realty) ability to do business. You really should grow-up, grow a pair and F'ing stop it.

C'mon Realtors
After all that talk about putting up 'I hate that guy from Chez Neumansky' blogs this is the best you can do? Flag the ads on Craig's List? Weak!

Now Realtors, I didn't say ALL Realtors are D-Bags...but c'mon ya gotta admit that what this small group is doing is pretty d-bag-tastic...

A Special Note To The Potential New Owners Of Chez 2.0
If you've gotten this far from the landing page I built and are interested in looking at the house and your Alameda based Realtor is hesitant or trying to steer you away.....take a moment and think about if your Realtor is acting in your best interests or what???

KnifeCatching 1310 San Antonio Ave Barred Again!!!

Read This:The following review is just my opinion and only my opinion I am not a professional house appraiser or inspector and I am not a structural engineer. The opinions expressed in this review are based on my own inspection of the property, the publicly available facts from aggregator sites such as Redfin and Zillow and the online permit database for the city of Alameda. I am not responsible for incorrect or missing data that appears in these sources. In fact, its probably best that you just ignore everything you read here as the lunatic ravings of an unbalanced mind.

Up for review today is 1310 San Antonio Ave. According to public facts its 4-2 single family home of 1907sq ft on a 4000sq ft lot built in 1906 on sale for $825k Its weird that the public facts show it as a 4-2 when its being listed as a 3-1.5...you hardly ever see the listing as smaller than the public facts. Check out the super fab sellers website here for lots of pics.

On To The Review
Oh wait, got banned again by those lovely folks at Alain Pinel Realty. They really appear to have their panties in a twist about people independently reviewing the houses they have for sale...

I'll say this again, in my opinion, anybody who is selling a product which they are refusing to be allowed to be independently reviewed must be hiding something....

1310 San Antonio Ave. was a bit of a heart breaker for the missus. She's been eyeing this place for a while. It looks good from the street and its literally 2 houses down from the super fab Franklin Park. It also has what looks like a nice front porch. As a 4-2 with a 3 car garage we where excited that maybe this could be the house for us...too bad the super-neato folks at Alain Pinel Realty see fit to bar legitimate buyers.

On the being barred thing:
I'm wondering if its even legal. Its an open house advertised in the paper...we're real buyers with a pre-approval letter yet they won't let me in to see the place? The realtor said, 'The home owners have asked that I not allow you in.'.....seriously WTF... What if the home owners said, 'Ya know, don't let any Jews into the open.' How would that fly? Maybe they should post a sign on the door that reads, 'Intelligent, knowledgeable buyers need not apply.' I feel like I'm being discriminated against cause I have a strong opinion.... Just for kicks, I think I'll try to find out what the ACLU has to say about this.

Mini-Review:
Anticipating that I would be banned the wife and a friend went along first to check the place out. Here are their thoughts on the place.

The two rooms on the ground floor look nice and are of a nice size. The kitchen is 'weird' with it being separated into two rooms. The front porch is indeed good sized. The top floor bedrooms are teeny-tiny and what looks like a cool 2nd floor porch over the bottom porch can only be accessed through a window?!?! There is one bathroom on the 2nd floor and only a room with a toilet on the 1st. They both thought that the kitchen and bath needed to be 'refreshed' as they looked old and well worn to them. The entire lot is covered in bricks! From the looks of it probably the bricks from the original foundation...but the front yard, side yards and back yard are completely bricked in! Sounds like just the thing for kids to play on...'low maintenance yards' isn't that supposed to be for elderly folks? I estimate that between the house and the garage is maybe 20' tops....so no backyard.

Net-net, too small with no yard for $825k.....but, its got location, location, location...so maybe it'll sell for asking. The place next door's (1312 San Antonio) been for sale for ever and its a 3-2 and they've dropped the price from like the mid $800's down to the higher $600k's and it still hasn't sold. 1312 has a new realtor and if ya ask me they really blew it not having it open same time as 1310 was. There were a lot of people coming to see 1310 and most of em woulda probably toured 1312 also. But hey, maybe 1310 is worth more than $150k more than 1312 which hasn't sold in months.....

The Real Story *
Suspecting the insidious threat of the Reptile Realtors I hurried to Franklin park to attempt to astrally project myself into the house. Luckily, with the house only being 2 doors down from the park I was able to 'assume the position' under my favorite tree and project my astral self back into the house...what I found, dear readers, will shock you to your very core! Even after reading the relevations revealed in my review of 1525 Gibbons Dr.

Have you ever toured a house with your baby and have the Realtor showing it say something along the lines of, 'I just love babies, please, let me hold him while you go look through the house.' Does it ever appear that they are just a little too eager to hold your child? We used to hear it all the time when we brought our daughter to open houses when she was younger. We, of course, never handed our child over to a stranger. I always wondered if ANYBODY would take the realtor up on their offer.

Well, it turns out some people do...in my astral state I actually saw a mother hand her daughter over to the realtor so she could look through the house unencumbered. I don't want to make any value judgements here, but this woman looked like the type of very wealthy mother who looks at a baby as more of a fashion accessory than anything else...musta been the au-pairs day off. At this point I didn't know if this was a human Realtor or one of the heinous 'Reptile Realtors'. The realtor cradled the baby gently in its arms and smiled broadly...showing a lot of teeth...Then the Realtor smiled even broader showing even more teeth...double row's of evily serrated teeth!

I was frozen with fear. Was this vile creature going to eat this baby? Could I get back to my body in the park and back to the house in time to save the baby? Just then, the baby's mother appeared from a doorway and smiled at the Realtor, who returned a perfectly normal, human, smile as the babies mama headed upstairs. Now, knowing that the upstairs of the house is teeny-tiny I hoped the mother would be back soon before anything happened to the baby.

This time the Reptile Realtor didn't smile broadly but its long, long reptilian forked tongue flicked out of its mouth. The creature played its freakishly long tongue over the sleeping babies face. I thought maybe the vile creature was trying to tickle the baby? It played its tongue down the babies arms, on its legs, on any exposed skin.....then I noticed that the RR was drooling!

This beast from another world was tasting the baby!!! I'll never forget the look on its face as it was tasting that baby....like when you take a bite of REALLY good chocolate and let it melt in your mouth and smoosh it around with your tongue....

The creature barely had time to compose itself as the babies mama came down the stairs and scooped the baby up and was off without even a word to the RR. I guess that 2nd floor really isn't impressive.

So, dear readers, I implore you, never, ever, let a Realtor hold your child for ANY reason!

I was hoping to follow this RR back to its lair, but again, my daughter wanted to play on the slide and awoke me from my trance like state.

To Be Continued?

*Of course this is satire.